In total, I will write about 3 lies. The world is becoming progressively liberal. Many things considered indisputable 50 years ago, now have thousands of people and institutions denouncing their credibility. Some of these denouncements are good. Because I mean, what good would this world be if we all assimilated into the troublesome status quo of toxic patriarchy, for example?
And yet some denouncements are not-so-good, but we can talk of these another day.
Today is about abating 3 lies that have also lived around for quite a while. I am aware as I write these lines that today or someday, somebody could call these lies truth; but I hope not. Really. Because here is one of those times when we should not get busy sugar-coating or contextualizing the things that hold no water.
Lie # 1: Success is impatient.
Lol. No. Success is not impatient. Success takes her time to happen. That’s why there’s a phrase like “overnight success” because even grammatists agree that the true nature of success is patience. She takes her time. She requires input; input like effort a.k.a. work (hard, smart and both). She requires consistency of this effort, a quality to this effort, an imaginative creativity to it and an investment of resources into it.
Success is not in a hurry to happen to you, and she wouldn’t require you to make self-sacrifices you can’t live with, just to have her in your life in a blink. Understand that the process to earn success, capacitates you with what it takes to keep it. This is nature’s truth.
Whenever you’re tempted or pressured to believe that the status quo is for your baby dreams to crawl, walk, run and gymnast all in a day, remember that this is a lie. Success is patient … to come to your personal strides, career, relationships and impact.
Lie #2: Life will come on your terms.
Again. No. Life will not come on the terms you dictate or desire. It’s one of the things that make us “human” beings – beings who are human. Life will happen on her terms and then you have the choice to respond on your terms (actively) or to go with whatever happens (passively). Imagine each of us had the power to command the weather. Imagine the daily confusion as each tries to will his own desire. Imagine the strife, and power tussle and coercion and seduction for other people’s wills. And that’s just for something as simple as the weather. So thank God, no, life happens as it happens and will sometimes put you in tight corners, present you with hard choices or deal you with a challenging round of cards. Normalize this.
Normalize things turning out differently. Normalize the versatility and good faith to respond on your best mark. Instead of tantrums, self-pity or playing the victim card, harness the power you always have to respond to life on YOUR terms. Practice this power. Enhance it. Because this would not be the last time life happens on her terms.
Sometimes though, life’s happenings will align with your terms. But treat that like a blessing. It will curb the entitlement.
Lie #3: Good things happening to your neighbor stop good things from happening to you.
This is obviously a lie. One that gets people distracted, jealous, frustrated and running races on lanes they have no business being on.
Good things happening to your neighbor, friend, colleague or sibling does not mean good things will not or cannot happen to you. These people succeeding (or appear to be succeeding) are not stealing your light or luck. I’m serious. Even when their trophy is a competitive victory for which you also strive(d), it doesn’t empty you of the capacity to take other trophies in the present, or achieve this same feat in the future.
One thing that leads people to living this lie is a lack of focus on your own journey and a faintness of heart at your process. Focus. Focus on your path. Commit to it. It liquifies that lie. It gets you seeing another’s success as an inspiration, as a drive to pursue your own, or at least, as something to look at without a belly full of envy. It takes away the temptation to feel frustrated or left behind at the sight of another’s triumph; and best, it keeps you believing in your own path, and trusting your own journey, without feeling the need to become a copy and paste version of the success you’re witnessing. See. I know we’re questioning stuff and changing things. And encouraging drive and fueling competitiveness. These are generally good things. But do not let yourself ever, into believing the delusion that your neighbor’s lighted candle decreases your own candle’s intrinsic ability to light. It doesn’t, and it never will.
